It Would Only Happen To Me

In September of this year, the hospital I work for decided to implement a new "Drug-Free Workplace" policy. This new policy involved random drug testing.

Well, on Tuesday, December 14, I was selected as one of the random employees to be tested. I had absolutely no worries. I don't do drugs, never have and never will. I've never even smoked a cigarette. So I picked up the form from my boss and headed to Occupational Health.

I signed in, filled out a form listing all medications I was currently taking, and sat and waited on my turn. An employee called me back to a room. The first test was for alcohol. I blew into a breathalyzer. Of course, it came back negative. Then the lady began prepping for the next test: the urine drug screen. The entire time she was prepping, we talked about being pregnant. Her daughter was also pregnant and it gave us something in common to talk about. I joked about how funny it was that I was selected for drug testing given the fact that I was pregnant.

I gave my urine sample and stood by while she waited on the results. As she stood there marking negative after negative, I tapped my foot, eager to get back to work. I had patients coming that afternoon. But then she got a funny look on her face. She stared at the cup, turning it this way and that. Before I could ask, she said "I'm going to go get another staff member to look at this. I can't seem to find a line. But sometimes they're so faint you can't see them. I need another pair of eyes to confirm or deny. Hang on a sec." I was thinking, "no line? Is that bad?" She came back with another staff member who looked at it briefly, said "nope" and gave me a very condescending, seething look. She then left the room. Meanwhile, my heartbeat has increased and my breathing was increasing also. The first employee told me that they had failed to see a line, a line indicating that the result was negative. I calmly replied, "ok", while my head was screaming "WHAT?!" She told me that the sample would have to be sent to an outside lab to declare a positive or negative. She packaged the sample, including with it a form indicating the drug to be tested. I leaned over as far as I could without being obvious. The drug she wrote was "methamphetamine". WHAT?!  She asked me to inital and date the package. I initialed and dated it and was led to another room. The employee left to "send off the sample."

I instantly began researching what could possibly cause a false-positive for methamphetamine. My heart was pounding in my ears and I was finding it difficult to breathe. Before I could find an answer, the employee came back. She asked me to verify that everything I had taken in the last 30 days was listed on the form. I verified that everything listed was all I had taken. She said, "Pending further investigation, you're going to have to go home. Can you leave immediately?" I managed to answer, "Well, I'll need a few minutes to inform my staff and gather my things." She nodded and said, "Please bring proof of your medications within the next 24 hours" and sent me on my way.

When I arrived at my office a few minutes later, I was in tears and barely able to breathe. One of my co-workers, Jill, asked me "What's the matter?" I replied "I'm being sent home." She said, "What for?" I choked out "I failed the drug test." Jill's mouth dropped open and she stared at me incredulously. Then she started laughing. As I stared back at her, she said, "YOU?! You've got to be kidding. I would expect that of other people, but YOU? There's got to be something wrong. That's ridiculous."

By that point I was hysterical. Another co-worker, Jan, held my face in between her hands and said, "Heidi, it's not good for the baby for you to be this stressed out. You have to calm down!" That got my attention. I took a few deep breaths and managed to calm myself down a little. (At least I wasn't hyperventilating.)

I called my boss to let him know. I could barely speak on the phone. Apparently, Occupational Health had already called him. He told me my supervisor was on the way up to my office. My next call was to my OBGYN's nurse, Jennifer. I told her what was going on and she told me she'd get me a print out of all my prescribed medications. (Not much, let me tell you. I have inhalers - which I don't use - and two medications prescribed by the urgent care center doc - Zofran for nausea and Zantac for my acid reflux.) I sent a text message to Brad: "They're sending me home." Then my friend and fellow dietitian, Sara, called to see if I had 15 minutes to wait so she get up there to cover me. I said yes. She asked me if everything was OK and I said, "Not really." She said, "What's wrong?" I told her I'd tell her when she got here.

Shortly after that, my supervisor arrived in my office. She closed my door and gave me a hug. She told me everything would be OK. She told me Sara would be covering for me. My cell phone rang - it was Brad. I ignored it. It wasn't long before Sara arrived. She was sheet white and looked panicked. I told her what was going on. She gave a deep sigh of relief and started laughing as the color returned to her face. "Drugs? That's all? I thought it was something serious; like something was wrong with the baby." (Let me give you a background on Sara: she works in the OB clinic at the hospital - which serves the poorest of the poor of Indianapolis - and often sees mothers who are on drugs for real. And having just had a baby herself in August, I could understand her concern.) For the first time since the incident, I actually smiled. I briefed Sara on the next few days and started shutting stuff down on my computer. Brad called me on my work phone. I answered and explained what was going on. I told him I'd call him later.

I was still pretty upset and was still crying in intervals. Jan came back and handed me a $20 bill with a post-it note. I looked at her quizzically. She smiled. "Go shopping for Shannon." I smiled. Retail therapy is always great and giving to someone else is even better. (Our office had decided to sponsor a family we knew who was going through a hard time at Christmas. The mom was trying to save enough money for a down payment on a house in a better neighborhood so she could move her 4 adopted children to a safer environment.) I took the $20 bill and the post-it note with Shannon's list and put it in my wallet.

After collecting all my stuff and hugging everyone good bye, I left. I called Brad again and he told me that he'd done some research and it showed that Zantac could cause a false positive. I headed to my doctor's office. I met Jennifer and she handed me a copy of my prescriptions which I promptly delivered to Occupational Health.

I was still in shock as I headed to my car. I had no idea how long the process would take or when I would be allowed to return to work. I still hadn't figured out what could have caused a false-positive.

I placed my next call to my father-in-law, chemist and patent attorney. Not being able to reach him, I hung up and called my mom. My mom was upset at first because she could tell how upset I was and said, "Heidi, sometimes God does things for a reason. Who knows; maybe you were going to be in an accident or maybe God knew you needed a vacation." But by the end of the conversation, she was laughing. She said, "Heidi, this wouldn't be funny, except it's YOU!" I had to chuckle with her at that point. My father-in-law called back toward the end of the conversation. When I told him the situation, he immediately began researching. He was furious. He found an article from the Mayo clinic regarding drug testing. Apparently, ranitidine (Zantac) can cause a false-positive. I felt better and drove to my mother-in-law's house.

I went in through the garage and when I got inside, I hollered "Mimi, are you here?" From the back bedroom, I heard "Who is it?" I answered back, "It's Heidibeth. They sent me home from work." She said, "Why? What's wrong?" I replied, "I failed my drug test." A few minutes of silence and then, "WHAT?!" I smiled and repeated "I failed my drug test." She called me to the bedroom and I explained the situation. She was excited because she was getting ready to go shopping and asked if I wanted to go with her. But of course!

While we were out shopping, my husband sent me a text message with a phone number that said "Call this number: tell me what they say." When I called, it was the rehab program that Brad had gone to in 2003. It was one of the guys that Brad had established a good relationship with while he was there. I'd met him once so we caught up on things and chatted a bit before I hung up. Given the amount of stress I was under that day and having a condition I've dubbed "Pregnancy Brain", I failed to get the joke. When I called Brad back to tell him Bro. Richard said hi, he started laughing. He then explained to me the joke. I called him a brat, but I was smiling the whole time. It would have been funnier had I gotten the joke...

Now the rest of the story, I'll leave for the short version. The next day (Wednesday) Brad and I went for the ultrasound. Amy, another good friend and fellow dietitian, had heard the story from Sara (with my permission) and was there to greet me. She joked and gave me a hard time. After the ultrasound, Amy was ready with pamphlets for me: "Cocaine Use During Pregnancy", "How Do Drugs Affect Me During Pregnancy" and "Smoking During Pregnancy". I laughed until I cried. Amy and Sara have a way of making me laugh. They make my job bearable.

Later that day I received a call from the director of Occupational Health. Apparently my boss was very concerned about how upset I was and felt that I deserved a call from her. She explained the process to me (it was a non-negative result versus a positive) and apologized for her second employee's behavior. I felt much better. On Friday, I received a call from my supervisor. I had been cleared (imagine that!) to go back to work. I would be paid for my time off and would not be required to use PTO. (God is good!)

I returned to work Monday, December 20.

Despite how upset I was at the beginning, I have to include this story. Later, when Lincoln is old enough to understand, I can tell him how his mom was sent home from work for "using drugs". It could only happen to me...

20 Weeks - Halfway there!

This week is the halfway point! As of today, I'm 20 weeks 3 days, so only 19 weeks 4 days to go!

The baby is about 7 inches long or the size of a medium banana and weighs around 11 ounces. (I'm sure Lincoln is a tad bigger since last week the ultrasound tech estimated he weighed 11 ounces then...)

Lincoln swallows at least several ounces of amniotic fluid each day - not only for hydration and nutrition, but also to practice swallowing and digesting - skills he will need as soon as he arrives in my arms. (Happy thought!)

And, something I found interesting: the taste of the amniotic fluid differs from day to day depending on what I've eaten. And those tastes won't be lost on Lincoln, because he has very developed taste buds already. In fact, some researchers have found that babies who were exposed to certain tastes in utero via the amniotic fluid were more eager to eat foods with those tastes after birth. (I've been trying to eat a wide variety of foods to expose him to a lot of different foods. But I've been hooked on potatoes. Doesn't matter what form - mashed, fried, french fries, baked, scalloped - I'll eat them.)

Right now, Lincoln still has a lot of room, but before long he'll start to feel cramped. But until then, he has plenty of space for twisting, turning, and an occasional somersault. (Which I'm sure is what I'm feeling!)

With all of that dancing going on, it's hard to believe he even sleeps at all! But believe it or not, he sleeps as much as 12-14 hours a day! (If only I could get some sleep!)

Ultrasound at Week 19

Wow. Life is busy! Especially this time of year. Sorry for the late post, but it's been crazy.

Sometime the week prior to the ultrasound, Baby Titus and I had a conversation that went something like this:

ME: Ya know, Baby, you're gonna have to give Mommy a sign to let her know what you are. Mommy's are supposed to have some kind of intuition to let them know if you're a boy or girl. To be honest, Mommy has no clue! So I need a sign of some sort ok?

BABY: {nothing} (At least that I could tell. Maybe the baby nodded.)

ME: Ok. Well, the ultrasound is next week, so you've got 7 days, ok?

BABY: {nothing}

ME: Good. That's a good baby.

Two days before the ultrasound, I began referring to the baby as "he". The sign? Not sure, but I do know that going in to the ultrasound, I thought, "This kid is a boy!"

The morning of the ultrasound, Brad is like a kid on Christmas morning. :) When we arrived, the ladies in the clinic, anticipating our arrival, had already checked me in! But we still had to wait. The wait seemed like eternity. But finally, the door opened and we were called back.

From my limited knowledge of ultrasounds, everything looked great! The tech showed us the baby's profile.

 We heard the heartbeat -158bpm. Then she changed something and we saw blood flowing in and out (in red and blue) of the heart and umbilical cord!

 We saw the legs (which were crossed and stretched out - this kid is mellow!), 

feet (which I think look big - I don't really know!), brain and spine. It was amazing!

After doing the baby's measurements (the baby is a couple days ahead in terms of growth), the tech asked if we wanted to know the baby's sex. We told her yes!

She used the wand to move to the area to see what the baby's sex was and when she got there it was completely obvious - no looking around, no prodding, no attempts to get the baby to cooperate - that...

 IT'S A BOY!!

It was like he knew he had been discovered. After we knew who he was, he waved at all of us in the ultrasound. And opened his mouth like he was smiling at us.

Brad, I think, cried through the whole ultrasound. I cried only after I was told to stop laughing. (Everytime I laughed, my belly would shake, causing the tech to lose the image. She told me I was only allowed to laugh when she had the image frozen on the screen.) I was so excited. (Not only to be right, mind you!) I had wanted a little boy first.

So, say hello to Lincoln Daniel Titus.  Hope he brings a smile to your face like he has mine.

18 Weeks and 4 Days

Last week I posted the gender prediction since the ultrasound is coming up. (We have not had it yet - I had to change the appointment to accomodate my work schedule. *sigh* Oh, the joys of a working mother.) Since then I've had several people guess boy. Not enough to upset the balance, but we'll find out who's right next week! Wednesday, December 15 at 7:30 in the morning. I'll post the results as soon as I can.

So, I'm 18 weeks and 4 days today. The baby is the size of a mango (about 6 in from crown to rump) and a whole half pound!! The baby has grown by 100 times since my very first post! From sweet pea to mango!

My little action figure is able to do Matrix-like moves this week. Arms and legs are finally in proportion, neurons are now connected between the brain and muscles, and cartilage throughout the body is turning to bone. All these upgrades combine to give Ziggy more control over limb movements.

And because I have yet to post any pictures of myself and I finally have a baby bump, I decided to post one today. So here's the 18 week baby bump. (Taken at work so ignore the exam room background.)

Boy or Girl?

Well, I have an ultrasound date. IT'S NEXT WEEK!!

Sorry, I'm a tad excited. So, in preparation for next week's ultrasound (where hopefully Ziggy will cooperate and let us see what we need to see!) I'm going to do an compilation of all the old wives' tales, Chinese Gender Prediction Chart, website quizzes and responses from friends and family. (Some are personal so I'll leave those out!) My answers will be in the "color" of the sex immediately following! I'll count the number of responses to see what the Old Wives predict and what family and friends predict. See the results at the bottom!

• Chinese Prediction Chart (from Parents.com) - BOY
• Body Changes (from Parents.com)
• Prefer sleeping on left - boy; right - girl BOY
• Extreme nausea - girl GIRL
• Hands dry - boy; soft - girl BOY
• Craving citrus - girl GIRL
• Skin breaks out - girl (I had break outs REALLY BAD at the beginning, but it's cleared up now - I'm going with both.) GIRL BOY
• Feel graceful during pregnancy - girl; clumsy - boy BOY
• Gain weight in face - girl (I don't think I have. Someone can correct me if I'm wrong. I promise I won't get offended.)
• Craving salt - boy; sweet - girl GIRL
• Extremely moody? - girl GIRL
• Carrying (from Parents.com)
• low- boy; high - girl GIRL
• in front - boy; all around - girl BOY
• Dangling Chains (from Parents.com)
• Dangle a chain with a charm over palm: back and forth - boy; circle - girl BOY
• How would you show someone your hands? palms - girl; down - boy GIRL
• Dangle a ring over belly - back and forth - girl; circle - boy GIRL
• Toddler boy shows interest in my belly - girl; ignores - boy (The only toddler boy I'm around is Mekhi and he's only asked about when "she" is coming. Since his only experience with babies is with girls, do I count that?)
• Eat garlic; if smell seeps out pores - boy; no scent - girl GIRL
• If I pick up a key by the round end - boy; long end - girl BOY
• Conception Clues (from Parents.com)
• Mother's age & year of conception are both even or odd - girl; one even, one odd - boy GIRL
• Baby's heart beat >150 - girl; <150 - boy GIRL

• Child tends to be the same sex as the parent who is less stressed at time of conception GIRL (At least this is who I think was less stressed. Brad, correct me if I'm wrong.)
• If you dream about having a girl - boy; vice versa (My father-in-law dreamed I was having twin girls; I dreamed I was having a girl.) BOY
• Chinese Lunar Calendar (from BabyZone.com) GIRL
• BabyCenter.com - BOY
• BabyGenderPrediction.com Old Wives Tale Quiz GIRL
• thelaboroflove.com
• Baby Gender Predictor Tool - GIRL
• Chinese Calendar - BOY
• childbirth.org
• Quiz Results - 33% chance boy 66% chance GIRL
• fortunebaby.com - 50% chance GIRL
• pregnancy.about.com - 30% GIRL
• iVillage (Some are duplicates from Parents.com and will not be counted.)
• Boy - It's a boy if:
• You didn't experience morning sickness in early pregnancy.
• Your baby's heartbeat is less than 140 beats per minute.
• You are carrying the extra weight out front.
• Your belly looks like a basketball. BOY
• You are carrying low.
• You are craving salty or sour foods.
• You are craving protein - meat and cheese.

• Your feet are colder than they were before pregnancy. BOY
• Your hands are very dry.
• Your pillow faces north when you sleep.
• Dad-to-be is gaining weight right along with you.
• Pregnancy has you looking better than ever. (I sure didn't in the beginning, but I look better now. Since I can't decide which, I'm going to count both.) BOY
• Your nose is spreading.
• You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves in circles.
• You are having headaches.
• You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an even number. (This is different from Parents.com.) BOY
• Girl
• You experienced morning sickness.
• Your baby's heart rate is at least 140. GIRL
• You are carrying the extra weight in hips, rear.
• Your hair developed red highlights.
• You are carrying high.
• Your belly looks like a watermelon.
• You are craving sweets.
• You crave orange juice.
• You don't look quite as good as normal during pregnancy. (I sure didn't in the beginning, but I look better now. Since I can't decide which, I'm going to count both.) GIRL
• You are moodier than usual during pregnancy.
• Your face breaks out more than usual.
• You refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread.
• Your pillow faces south when you sleep. GIRL
• You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves from side to side.
• You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an odd number.
• Some of the more personal ones (which I will not detail) result in: BOY BOY GIRL GIRL BOY GIRL
• Family and Friends: (Thanks to everyone who voted.)
• Out of 31 votes, 21 are for GIRL and 10 are for BOY.

So, the final results are:

BOY - 28 or 38.4%

GIRL - 45 or 61.6%

"Simply Call Her Mom"

I remember reading this poem years ago. My previous post regarding maternal responsibility prompted me to go hunting for it. So here it is:

A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you.  And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the small child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

"Who will protect me?"

God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name".

God said, you will simply call her, "Mom".

Week 16

It feels like a week since yesterday. I asked a patient over the phone what she had to eat yesterday and she told me, "Heidi, I was in your office yesterday." Oh. I guess I'm just excited about being off for 5 days in a row! That and I feel super tired. I've been getting anywhere from 8-10 hours of sleep every night and I still feel exhausted.

I've managed to make it back to the gym for some exercise - walking and water aerobics. I feel better now that I can get out of my apartment and do something for a change. And my appetite is still good. (Speaking of which, excuse me while I go grab a snack.)

Ok. I'm back, key lime pie yogurt in hand.

Enough about me. Let's talk about Ziggy!

Ziggy is about 5 inches long and more than 3 and a half ounces - the size of my open hand. (That's a visual, no?) (For those of you who seem to enjoy the fruit/vegetable theme - the baby is as big as a turnip!) Body fat is beginning to form and will continue to accumulate through the rest of the pregnancy. By the time Ziggy gets here, body fat will make up 2/3 of his or her weight! Chubby, chubby!

Remember last week: that the bones in the ears were forming? Well, Ziggy should certainly be able to hear things now! In fact, loud noises - our crazy dog, Maggie, barking, for example - could actually startle Ziggy. This is good news, as it will actually get him or her used to it. Babies in the womb who regularly hear a dog barking will become babies who sleep right through the dog's outbursts. (Thank goodness, right?)

The eyes are making side-to-side movements and can even perceive some light, though the eyelids are still sealed.

And here's some proof that Ziggy will truly be one of a kind (like I need any!): within the next week or so, the pads on the baby's fingertips and toes will become adorned with completely individual swirls and creases. (Fingerprints!)

Reflections:
I have commented to many people how God truly knows the desires of our hearts.  During a particularly difficult relationship in my life, I remember a yearning in my heart for the man I was with to say and do certain things. Those things have since been fulfilled in my husband. I never told anyone those things. I never even prayed them aloud. But somehow God knew. He knows the desires of our hearts.

I have dreamt all my life of someday being a mommy, holding a newborn in my arms, kissing boo-boos and tucking little heads into bed at night. I've wanted nothing more or as much as the privilege of being a mother. But I understand that it's a privilege. I take motherhood very seriously. It's no ordinary job being a mom. You are responsible for the one thing God finds most precious - a child. Everything you say and do can affect that child. For good or bad. It's an awesome responsibility.

And now, I have been granted, again, the desires of my heart - a child. And with that promise has come other good things. My husband has become more aware of his health and has taken actions to improve it. I have found my relationship with both my mom and my mother-in-law strengthening. Things that were of great importance before have now fallen to the side. Even my relationship with my Creator and Savior has gotten stronger. When God blesses you, He doesn't do it half-way. It's a ripple effect.

So, I have no idea what you may be going through today, but whatever it is, know this: God knows the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:4 says "Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." If you delight yourself in him, he will give you the desires of your heart. And if I know one thing to be true, it's this: God keeps His promises.

Little Ziggy

This week's post is in honor of my wonderful brother-in-law who so lovingly nicknamed Baby Titus "Ziggy".

I am 15 weeks 1 day. I feel like a million bucks since the doctor put me on those anti-nausea and antacid meds. My appetite has increased. (If you don't believe me or have trouble imagining how much my appetite has increased, just ask my father-in-law about how much food disappeared from his house this weekend...)

My sweet tooth has also grown. I'm craving anything fruity and sweet. I have a wonderful cherry turnover made by one of the ladies at church to eat later this morning. (Can't wait! Yum!)

And little Ziggy must be growing because the lower part of my stomach feels like someone used it for a punching bag. Several websites tell me it's the "round ligaments stretching". Ouch.

Little Ziggy will be the size of an avocado by the end of this week. That's anywhere between 4 and 5 inches. That's a long way from 1.5 mm! He/she will also be able to hear by the end of this week. Studies have shown that babies who are sung to in the womb recognize the same song when sung to them after birth. Which means I'm going to be doing a lot more singing in the shower. :)

I went to the doctor Friday and all is well. He's scheduling my next ultrasound this week so hopefully I'll soon know the exact date we found out what gender Ziggy is. I can't wait! I can't wait to start talking to that little one growing inside of me. I can't wait to start calling him/her by name so he/she can recognize my voice; to start imagining what that little person will be like, what he/she will look like. *contented sigh* The doctor says the next ultrasound will be at 18 weeks. Well, folks, that's 3 weeks from yesterday (December 6)! Whoo hoo!

So, if you haven't yet, don't forget to vote on what you think the baby will be! Boy or girl? (Remember: you can't say twins to get out of a decision - two ultrasounds have shown only 1 Ziggy, not 2.)

Week 15

So, once again life is busy and I haven't been able to blog. Senior Bible Quizzing season started and I've been busy prepping for practices and cooking for bake sales. I also had a recent scare that sent everyone one close to me into a panic. But baby is fine and mommy is now, too. :)

Today, I am 14 weeks 3 days. The baby is the size of a navel orange (around 4.5 inches). That's a long cry from a sweet pea! Since, I missed a few weeks, I'll catch you up on the stages (and fruits!) I missed. After a plum at week 12, there was a peach and a lemon. So, baby is growing nicely.

Baby is busy all day practicing and getting ready for his/her big debut into the world. He/she is practicing breathing, sucking, swallowing. He/she is also practicing moving, too - daily aerobics classes with kicking, curling toes and moving those arms and legs.

(The other day, I think I felt the baby move! I'm not entirely convinced, but I know it wasn't gas! It felt like little butterflies and then like a little tiny finger poked me from the inside. Oh, how my heart flipped when I felt that! I told Brad and he immediately put his hand on my belly to see if he could feel, too. But nothing. I told him it would be a while till he could feel it from the outside. Still, it was exciting!)

I go for my monthly check-up this Friday. Hopefully, I'll find out when the 2nd trimester ultrasound will be. From my best guesses and estimates, I'll be having it the Monday before Christmas. :) That ultrasound will tell us the gender of the baby.

So, that being said, I want to do a little poll and see who's right. Post a comment to this blog and tell me what you think it's going to be. Girl or Boy? (And you can't say twins - the doctor has confirmed twice that there's only one little punkin in there!) Get guessin'!

Week 12

So, yesterday marked the beginning of week 12 (I'm 11 weeks 1 day). The baby is the size of a plum this week. (Like all the food references? That's the only references most websites and books use to relate the size of the baby. Guess we're all familiar with food, huh?)

The fetal digestive system is beginning to flex its digestive muscle - literally - as it starts practicing contraction movements, a skill the baby will need after birth to push food through the digestive tract. The pituitary gland at the base of the brain has started producing hormones. And the bone marrow is making white blood cells, which will one day help the baby fight infections.

The baby is also starting to explore his/her body, focusing most on touching his/her head, especially the face and mouth. The mouth will provide he/she with hours of entertainment. This happens not only because the baby is gaining coordination, but also because the baby's palms have gained sensation and can actually "feel" what it touches! The baby's smelling sensations will also begin developing this week along with maturing taste buds.

First Ultrasound

So, due to frequent requests, I'm blogging again. I had slacked off a little due to life - it can be so hectic! So, here is the most recent.

I went for the ultrasound Monday, October 4. I was very nervous going in. I have no idea why. Irrational fears, I suppose. But the minute I saw that image of a tiny person, all fears were gone. I had this huge, poop-eatin' grin on my face and I couldn't tear my eyes from it for one second. Then we saw the heart beat. Yes, you read that right. We saw the heart beat. With each beat, the little chest would rise and fall. How amazing!! I couldn't even look at Brad because I was so enthralled with what was happening on the screen. (Later he admitted that he started crying when he saw the baby for the first time. And he admitted it on facebook, so I'm not giving away any secrets here!) We heard the heart beat also and there is nothing more comforting to a mother-to-be's heart than the sound of her baby's heart beating.

The technician measured the size of the baby and the size of the uterus and determined that I was 9 weeks 1 day (instead of 10 weeks 3 days as originally thought).

So the estimated due date based on the ultrasound is May 8, 2011. So for those of you who may not have looked ahead at next year's calendar:

• That would be a Sunday.
• Mother's Day
• And the day after Brad's birthday.

And for those of you who attend Calvary, it's also the day after Taste of Calvary. (My mother-in-law is in quite a tizzy about that one, considering she has to run the whole show!)

What can I say? Babies have their own unique way of keeping life interesting, don't they?

My First Pregnancy Dream

So last night I had my first "pregnancy" dream. I've had lots of dreams since being pregnant, but 1)none that I could remember and 2)none that were actually about the pregnancy or the baby. It's kinda crazy, but here it is:

It begins with me giving birth (which wasn't actually in the dream, but it was just implied) to a baby girl. The hospital staff present the baby to me in a JCPenny gift box. (I know - crazy, right?! I know it was a JCPenny box because it didn't have 2 separate pieces - a lid and a bottom - it was all one piece.) Along with the baby, who is dressed in a very funky dress, is a Precious Moments Bible with the birth date of the baby imprinted on it. I take the baby from the box, wrap her in a blanket and lay her on my shoulder. My mom comments on the dress and the Bible and then leaves. Brad and I leave the hospital shortly after.

From the hospital we go directly to the mall (really?!). There we meet Brad's parents. In the dream I am very upset because it is time to feed the baby, but I have no bottles or formula because I had planned to breastfeed and for some reason I can't breastfeed. Deb (my mother-in-law) takes the baby and leaves with Rob (my father-in-law) to go "get something for the baby to eat". (Really? Where were they planning to go? The food court?)

Brad and I continue on our way where we shortly come across a couple of salons advertising pedicure specials to teenagers. And it isn't long after that we come upon a crudely constructed stage onto which Brad promptly jumps and begins to preach. While he is preaching, I begin to pray with three young women. After praying a short while, one of them puts her hand on my belly. I quickly correct her - "I've had the baby already; just this morning." And then my mother-in-law and father-in-law arrive with the baby (miraculously fed) and a diaper bag (not previously present in the dream).

And then I woke up. I have no idea the meaning behind this. I know that dreams are usually things - fears, worries, etc - that you've supressed to your subconcious coming out, but what could any of it mean? If you have any ideas, leave it as a comment. It'll be interesting to see what people interpret this dream to mean.

My Precious Prune

This past Friday marked 9 weeks. I'm currently in week 10 of pregnancy (I'm 9 weeks 3 days). I'm still battling good ol' nausea, but I'm also battling hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) and hypotension (low blood pressure). I've taken to eating every 2 hours to help with the blood sugar and I'm trying to drink as much as possible with an occasional helping of salt or a salty food.

But enough about me: here's what's happening with Little Titus this week!

He/she is nearly an inch and a half long, the size of a prune. Bones and cartilage are forming, and small indentations on the legs are developing into knees and ankles. The arms (complete with elbows) can flex already. The baby's teeth are forming under the gums. (Though they won't break through the gums until baby is close to 6 months old.) The baby's stomach is producing digestive juices, the kidneys are producing larger quantities of urine, and if it's a boy, he's already producing testosterone. (Oh, boy!) If we could take a peek inside the womb, we would be able to see tiny fingernails and toenails forming along with peach like hair all over the baby's body.

Reflections:

Looking forward to Friday when I go for my first appointment with my doctor. There I should be able to hear the heartbeat with Doppler! Then Monday is the first ultrasound!

And nausea sets in... Ugh.

Well last week I got hit with that good ol' pregnancy nausea. I thought I had escaped the dreaded thing, but no. So food cravings have changed, needless to say. From hot dogs and hot sauce to potatoes and starch.  From pregnancy glow to pregnancy green. How is it possible that such a small being can make you so sick?

This is week 9 (I'm 8 weeks and 3 days) and the baby is 1 inch long or the size of a green olive or grape this week. All the baby's joints such as the knees, elbows, shoulders, ankles, and wrists are working and allowing the baby to move about freely within the amniotic sac. The baby's heart began beating around day 24, but now his/her heart has divided into four chambers, and the valves are beginning to develop. The baby can also make a fist and may begin to suck his/her thumb.



Reflections:
Up to this point, the pregnancy has been kind of like a ghost in my mind. I had no symptoms other than being extremely tired, a missed period, and strange cravings. But once this nausea hit, boy did it hit me. If I had any doubts before about being pregnant, I sure don't now. Here in a couple of weeks, I will go for the first ultrasound. I think that will truly bring it home for both Brad and I. Can't wait!

7 Weeks and Counting...

This week, the baby is about a half an inch - the size of a raspberry! But growth is getting more and more difficult to estimate - growth occurs at about the rate of one millimeter each day. But that growth isn't necessarily just in height. Spurts can occur in the arms, legs, back and other parts of the body.

This week an upper lip is forming, the tip of the nose is starting to protrude, and thin, tiny eyelids. And the webbed fingers and toes are starting to differentiate now! The ears are continuing to form as well as the bones and the muscles can contract. Everything that is present in an adult human is now present in the baby.

Here is a picture representation of the baby at week 7.

Reflections:

As I was browsing the web for a picture of the baby, I stumbled upon several real pictures of babies aborted at 8 weeks. You could see tiny hands and feet. At this point in the pregnancy, I would be able to hear the heart beat (though I haven't yet). I cannot fathom having the baby aborted! It's a life! It has everything you and I have, just in smaller proportions. It has life flowing through it - it has blood. I can't understand a woman's desire, need, whatever it is, to abort her unborn baby. (I refuse to call it an embryo or fetus - it's a baby.) I have already grown to love this little being inside of me. It depends on me for survival. How can I take away it's life because of my choice? It doesn't have a choice. How does my choice become more important than life? How is that fair?

My Little Blueberry

So, today is the beginning of week 6.

The baby's nose, mouth and ears are beginning to take shape. The heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute - almost twice as fast as mine - and blood is beginning to go through it's little body. The intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will become the lungs has appeared. The pituitary gland is forming along with the rest of the brain, muscles and bones. The biggest fetal growth this week is the baby's head, with new brain cells being generated at the rate of 100 cells per minute! (No wonder I'm so tired!)

Right now, it's a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil bean or a blueberry! Small, yes, but 10,000 times bigger now than it was a month ago!

Reflections:
I've always marveled at the miracle that is a tiny newborn baby. But as this pregnancy continues and I experience that life growing in me, it changes my perspective. How amazing is it that life is created from two cells that we can't see with our eyes? But those two cells will eventually become a living, breathing, beautiful baby, in a process all orchestrated by a loving God.

Something else I've also experienced recently is a sense of responsibility. God has not given me this baby as my own. It is His child, His creation. He has entrusted it to me to raise and love, but ultimately it is His. What an awesome responsibility! God has entrusted me to care for one of His prized creations! I can only guess how Mary must have felt - carrying the actual flesh of God in her womb.

I can only imagine at this point what that little person will be like: what color eyes, what color hair, boy or girl, shy or outgoing. But there is One who knows exactly what this little "blueberry" will be like.

Jeremiah 1:5 - "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee;"
Matthew 10:30 "But the very hairs of your head are all numbered."

I don't know what the future holds with this little one, but He knows.

The baby right now...

So right now the baby (whom Brad is calling "Tadpole Titus") is 1.5 - 2.5 mm, the size of a sweet pea. It's heart is completely formed, only about 3/4 of the way, but it will begin to beat this week! In addition, the reproductive, cardiovascular, nervous, and other major systems will begin to develop.

Just beginning!

Welcome to my blog. Here I will post updates about my pregnancy, and then the subsequent birth of my baby.

So, I'm 5 weeks pregnant. We just found out Monday. We were going to wait until after the first doctor's appointment to tell everyone, but Brad was too excited to wait any longer. :) He's literally been bouncing since Monday.

So far, no nausea. I'm extremely exhausted, though. I've got a great excuse to go take a nap! ;)

I've been craving hot sauce and hot dogs. Sounds gross, right? But imagine a hotdog with jalapenos and hot sauce on top... Yum. That might be dinner tonight...

So, that's all for now. I'll update again later.